Growing Curioser and Curioser.. (poem)


“The Pondering”

Pencil to paper- I think about him

he’s intoxicating my thoughts like his first name is Gin.

When I close my eyes to the world to be come overtaken by sleep

it’s his essence that’s seeping into my dreams.

Pleasurable to most, but bothersome to me

because I feel that this course requires a soloist to seek.

I could be wrong, I’ve been wrong in the past-

but if this solo becomes a duo, how long will it last?

Will it sustain me from here to Kingdom Come,

or make like emotional mascara, and run?

I don’t have time or patience that I’m willing to give

because for the first time, in a long time, my words are

allowing me to live.

I feel that I’m bursting out, finally becoming free

I don’t know if I can allow him to take that from me.

I could be wrong- maybe he is my help,

his silent strength pushing me to expose myself-

as a writer, a woman, a force to be seen-

so my hopes and my prayers can become reality and no longer a dream.

Should I allow him entrance into my world?

This boy, this man , this sir?

It is too early to know for sure

but like young Alice, I grow curiouser and curiouser…